Just a little food for thought to all USA folks!!-- "Hello, I’m TSA Administrator John Pistole. As you travel this holiday season I want to remind you that TSA’s mission is to ensure the safety of you the traveling public and we are committed to doing so efficiently, courteously and professionally. I’d like to offer a few tips and some important information we’d like you to know before you go through security. Remember our 3 simple steps to security: Have your ID out, coats & shoes off and laptop and liquids and gels less than 3 ounces out and ready. As you enter the checkpoint you will be directed to pass through either a walk through metal detector or, at some airports, an Advanced Imaging Technology (AIT) unit. If you are directed to pass through an AIT, you may opt out. If you choose to opt out, you will receive a thorough pat-down by someone of the same gender. If you alarm either the metal detector or the AIT, you will also receive a thorough pat-down by someone of the same gender. In either case where a pat-down is required, you have important options that we want you to be aware of: you have the option to request that the pat-down be conducted in a private room and you have the option to have that pat-down witnessed by a person of your choice. We very much appreciate your involvement, cooperation and assistance in ensuring the safety of you, the traveling public. If you have questions about these procedures, the technology used by TSA, or our efforts to ensure your safety, please do not hesitate to ask for one of our supervisors or visit TSA.gov. Thank you and remember that at TSA, your safety is our priority.
A husband walks into Victoria 's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him. Upstairs, the wife thinks (she's no dummy), "I have an idea ... it's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself." She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. The husband says, "Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!" He never heard the shot. Funeral is on Thursday at Noon. The coffin will be closed.
My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...it was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was 22, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me she wanted me just once before I got married and commited my life to her sister. She asked me to meet her upstairs in her bedroom for one last fling. I was stunned watching her walk up the stairs. I made a beeline straight to the front door and headed straight to my car! Low and behold all my fiance's family were standing outside clapping, proud that I had passed their test. The moral of the story..... Always keep your condoms in the car!
[FONT=tahoma] [FONT=tahoma] [FONT=times new roman][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000] [INDENT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000] [FONT=times new roman] [FONT=times new roman] [FONT=times new roman] [COLOR=#C00000]GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Between 18 and 22, a woman is like [/COLOR][COLOR=#BE3838]Africa[/COLOR][COLOR=black] - half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful![/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Between 23 and 30, a woman is like [/COLOR][COLOR=#BE3838]Europe[/COLOR][COLOR=black] - well-developed and open to trade, especially for something of real value.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Between 31 and 35, a woman is like[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][COLOR=#C00000]Spain[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][COLOR=black]- very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Between 36 and 40, a woman is like [/COLOR][COLOR=#C00000]Greece[/COLOR][COLOR=black] gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Between 41 and 50, a woman is [/COLOR][COLOR=#4A442A]li[/COLOR][COLOR=black]ke [/COLOR][COLOR=#BE3838]Great [/COLOR][COLOR=#C00000]Britain,[/COLOR][COLOR=black] with a glorious and all-conquering past.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Between 51 and 60, a woman is like [/COLOR][COLOR=#C00000]Israel -[/COLOR][COLOR=black] has been through war, does[/COLOR][COLOR=black] not make the same mistakes twice, and takes [/COLOR][COLOR=#4A442A][/COLOR][COLOR=black]care of business. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Between 61 and 70, a woman is like [/COLOR][COLOR=#C00000]Canada - [/COLOR][COLOR=black]cool, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]After 70, she becomes [/COLOR][COLOR=#C00000]Tibet[/COLOR][COLOR=black] - wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages..... an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#BF005F] THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Between 1 and 80, a man is like[/COLOR][COLOR=#BF005F] Iran [/COLOR][COLOR=black]ruled by a couple of nuts.[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][COLOR=#BF005F]THE END[/COLOR][COLOR=#BF005F].[/COLOR] [/FONT] [/FONT] [/FONT] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/INDENT] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [/FONT] [/FONT]
I'm waiting to see if the prices get better for April. I can't believe how much more it is this year, pretty much anytime. Don't think I've met any of your group! But I have to say that I love your jokes!
Hey Welcome... yes the prices are up there.. most people are saying we should see the price come down some after January... the ccc group was very large last year, the booze cruise had 2 boats... we are hoping to do the same this time. Keep us posted and when you book let Woody know. he keeps a PDF for everyone on who is going that you can print off..
