April 2011 roll call...hahaha!!!!!

A Jewish woman says to her mother, "I'm divorcing Jeff ! All he wants is sex, ​

sex, and more sex. My vagina is now the size of a 50 cent piece, when it used to be about the size of a 5 cent piece." ​

Her mother says, "You're married to a multi-millionaire businessman, ​

you live in an 8 bedroom mansion, you drive a Ferrari
you get $2,000 a week allowance, ​

you take 6 vacations a year andyou want to throw all that away over 45 cents?"​

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Keeping it on Top!!!


Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, 'I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!'


'IMPOSSIBLE !' said the groom broom.


Are you ready for this?
Brace yourself; this is going to hurt! !! !!!

'WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!'

.
Oh for goodness sake... Laugh, or at least groan.
Life's too short not to enjoy...

Sounds to me like she's ...... !

......been ....sweeping around!!!

 

For those of us who know the oil industry...

The Rig Monkey A tourist walked into a pet store and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, a petroleum engineer from a nearby office walked in and said to the storekeeper, 'I'll take a rig hand monkey please.'

The storekeeper nodded, went to the side of the store, and took out a monkey. He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it to the engineer, saying, 'That'll be $2000.' The man paid and left with the
monkey.'

The surprised tourist went to the storekeeper and said, 'That was a very expensive monkey. Most monkeys are only a few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?'

The storekeeper answered, 'Ah, that's a Rig Monkey. He can rig up, plan rig moves, rewind motors, tail pipe, paint, pull maintenance, all with no back talk or complaints. It's well worth the money.'

The tourist then spotted a monkey in another cage. 'That one's even more expensive!! $10,000 !! What does it do??' he asked. 'Oh, that one' replied the storekeeper. ' That's a Rig Manager monkey. It can instruct at levels of maintenance, run the safety
program, deal with clients, and even do some paper work. A very useful monkey indeed.'

The tourist looked around a little longer and found a third monkey in a cage. The price tag was $50,000. The shocked tourist exclaimed, 'This one costs more than all the others put together !!. What in the world can it do??'.

'Actually,' said the shopkeeper, 'I've never really seen him do anything but drink beer and play with his dick, but his papers say he's a Consultant.'

 

Keeping it on top!!

OMG!.. PEOPLE!!!The April group is supposed to be big partiers!!!... doesnt anyone have anything to say!

tell us your training regiment for TTR..
or
we could start chatting about theme night!
or
maybe do a roll call of who is thinking of Booking for April 2011
or
is there anything other than a Boobs Cruise that we could do as a group.
or
post some pictures.. tell a story.. haha!!
come on people, Keep the thread going.!!!!

 

Well.... you naughty girl.....lol

 

Well, Well, Well, it all comes out now huh bruce, Kim is into to group activities... See it starts with an ashtray and ends with assplay..

 

What a surprise that you two!!! would interpret group activities that way.. not surprising at all... Jim.. did you notice your TTR girlfriend got married.. (the post about the 2 brooms getting married).. hahah good thing you left her behind.. hey, maybe the little wisk broom is yours!! hahah!!

Oh sorry thats right it was a mop!!

 

Haha well Bruce, Kim are you guys ready for the Deerfoot to turn into a wrecking ground now that we are getting some of this horrible white stuff? I saw one accident on Memorial this morning and can only see it getting worse.

And Jim, I am going to find that mop... maybe get some pictures of it cheating on you around the resort!

 

Lol.... well...boys will be boys

 

Funny you should mention that. I took this pic last September...





And the look she gave me when I told her I was going to tell Jim...