April 2011 roll call...hahaha!!!!!

lol... your grounded!!!

 

I could think of a worse punishment than just being grounded.

 

Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried
chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right,
everyone else in the class laughed.

My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried
chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and
he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love
animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.

Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what
happened, and he laughed too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal
was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, just like she'd
asked the other children. So I told her it was because you could make
them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office
again. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher
Doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what
famous person we admire most.

I told her, "Colonel Sanders".

Guess where I am now...

 

Too old drunks are sitting in a bar when the first one says,

"Ya know, when I was thirty and got an erection, I couldn't bend it, even using both hands.


By the time I was forty, I could bend it about ten degrees, if I tried really hard.


By the time I was fifty, I could bend it about forty five degrees, no problem.

I'm gonna be sixty next week, and now I can bend it in half with just one hand."

"So", says the second drunk, "What's your point?"

"Well, I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get."

 

Deer Hunting Story...even if you don't care about hunting.
Gotta Love Ted!

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, an animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting.
The journalist asked, 'What do you think is the last thought in the head of a deer before you shoot him? Is it, 'Are you my friend?' or is it 'Are you the one who killed my brother?
Nugent replied, 'Deer aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, what am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away. They are very much like the Democrats in Congress.'
The interview ended.

 

Keeping it on top!!!

wow!! .. I dont have any jokes for this morning...ahhah!!

 

Well, here's a good joke. We had a wasp in our bedroom, at the lake, this weekend. Now Kim says she won't sleep in there again unless we get one of these....

IKEA | Umbrellas, bases & accessories | Bases & accessories | SOLIG | Net


LMAO!

 

Three men - a Canadian farmer,​

​

Osama bin Laden​

​

and a Biker​

​

are all walking together one day. ​

They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.​

​

'I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total', says the Genie.​

The Canadian says, 'I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada '​

POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.​

Osama was amazed, so he said, 'I want a wall around Afghanistan , Palestine , Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians​

can come into our precious land.'​

POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.​

The Biker says, 'I am very curious.​

Please tell me more about this wall.'​

The Genie explains, 'Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out;​

it's virtually impenetrable.'​

The Biker sits down on his Harley,​

​

cracks a beer, ​

​

lights a cigar, ​

​

smiles and says,​

'Fill it with water.'​

I pretty much vote this my favorite email joke of the year....​